Have you ever tasted aloe vera juice? It tastes like it smells; it smells like minty cat pee. However, as a health tonic, it is supposed to work wonders in small doses. (In larger doses, it is a laxative.)

I had a nice, new bottle of aloe vera juice. I had only taken one dose from it (a small one, thank you). It was in a box of things I was moving from Manhattan to Baltimore. At two-thirty this morning, I was carrying that box into my new house when the bottom fell out of it (the box, not the house).

The vestibule is now a minefield of menacing glass shards I was too tired to clean up, and doused with the acrid aroma of minty cat pee.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to my home.