Yesterday, Rob and I attended a Quaker Meeting of Friends. Go ahead and silently insert your little joke about oats or Chandler. But make sure it is indeed silent; Quakers are big on silence. Meeting occurs in a large, unadorned room furnished with simple wooden pews. One enters, disturbing no one, and sits silently, eyes closed, and prays or meditates for an hour. Sometimes, individual Friends are moved to speak about spiritual issues, and the others meditate on what was said or are occasionally moved to respond out loud. Quakers do not believe in ceremony, religious hierarchy, or (apparently) air conditioning. These are distractions from individual communication with god. Rob’s and my experience was quiet, dignified, peaceful, welcoming, and slightly humid.

We will go again.

I am in debt something fierce. This morning, I was awakened at eight-thirty by a call from a credit card company that takes a dim view of not receiving their monthly tithe. That was the card that was declined on Saturday at Restoration Hardware when I attempted to buy bathroom towels embroidered with tasteful bumblebees and some small tables for the backyard patio. It’s expensive to outfit a house, even with just the basics; coming from a one-room Manhattan apartment didn’t give us much of a starting point. Straight people who have reached Rob’s and my level of commitment can get married and be inundated with gifts by all of society. Not that I at all think that the expectation of gifts is a good thing, but it would certainly have left me with less left to buy for myself.

And buy I do: sheets, rugs, chairs, tables, machines for the kitchen. Um . . . light bulbs. The Quakers believe in modesty and simplicity, and that sounds like about what I need right now.

That and a stunning new rug from the Pottery Barn.