I have mosquito bites. I normally don’t get them. Mosquitoes avoid me like the plague, possibly because I don’t have any blood. But the mosquitoes in my backyard are tenacious and evil; their wish, their grand plan, is to inflict bumps and itchiness whether or not they receive a sweet, juicy reward. They are Baltimore mosquitoes. If they were only slightly larger, they would break into my car and not take anything.
Yesterday, as I spray-painted furniture on the deck, I was continually dive-bombed. Occasionally, if I saw it in time, an offending mosquito would get a face full of black spray, but it would just fly off, laughing: they were black already and would not have to face the other bugs after making a dramatic lifestyle change. It wasn’t as if they were suddenly pink or yellow. Their friends might even admire their shiny new coats. It was a win-win situation for those mosquitoes.
I can’t think of the last time I had a win-win situation.
Update: I have an idea that came to me this morning when I was half-asleep. I had just had a dream about an extended wait in my doctor’s waiting room; I kept waking up at the end of it and drifting off again only to have the exact same dream. Do you know how many times I sat in my doctor’s waiting room this morning before I even got out of bed? She didn’t even have Highlights magazine!
Anyway, here’s the idea: a “Blogalike” contest. Anyone who wants to enter can email me a “blog entry” that tries to imitate my style. I suppose, since I sometimes switch styles, it just has to seem like something I would write myself. The event(s) it describes do not have to be real, but you have to write as if you were me.
I’ll post all of the fake blog entries along with a real one that I wrote. Then people can vote on which is the real one. If yours gets the most votes, I will send you an Amazon.com gift certificate. If mine does, I will bask in the knowledge that no one can out-me me.
If you have a blog of your own, please steal this idea because it will be fun. Encourage others to steal it, too. I could go down in history as the person who started a cool meme.
What do you know, a win-win situation!
Send me your entry by this Sunday (email link below, click on my name). If I get a dismal turn-out, I will save face by erasing this message and pretending I never wrote it.
