Last week, Whoopi Goldberg was fired from her position as SlimFast spokesperson. It seems that her comments about die fuhrer—I mean the president—generated excessive controversy. Posing as a disgruntled customer (I would never drink SlimFast anyway, as it is clearly composed of noxious chemicals), I emailed them and received a bland reply.

This week, Linda Ronstadt was fired and escorted from the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas for remarking to her audience that they should see Fahrenheit 9/11, the anti-Bush film that should be required viewing for all Americans. Ms. Ronstadt was treated like a common criminal for espousing her opinion (an opinion that half the people in this country happen to share), but the Nazis—I mean, audience members—who practically rioted when she did so, throwing their coctails at the stage and running out into the lobby and destroying hotel property, were instantly pardoned.

Today, I learned that the Human Rights Campaign, the gay and lesbian organization, “uninvited” comedian Margaret Cho from headlining their event during the Democratic Convention because they feared the controversy it might generate. In my letter to them resigning my membership and “uninviting” them from sending me any more solicitations, I reminded them that they are a controversial organization. I expect a bland reply.

Think about it: no one was ever fired for criticizing Bill Clinton. Quite the contrary.

If George Bush is elected in November, that will be all she wrote for democracy in America.