Events of the Day

News: Several Gnats Fly Inside Baltimore Rowhome
Fox News: House Invaded by Swarms of Traitorous Liberal Disease-Carrying Insects

News: David Drives His Mother to Virginia to Shop for Furniture
Fox News: Known Homosexual Crosses State Line: Agenda in Question

News: Goblin Goes on Morning Walk, Sights Squirrel
Fox News: Terrier Terrorist Cases Peaceful American Neighborhood

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