Funniest Thing Heard in the Past Week: “That’s the last thing I need, to go cocktailing with Morgan Fairchild,” said a good friend of mine in New York when faced with that very prospect.

Funniest Thing that Happened in the Past Week: The disappearance of one of the voters I drove to the polls.

Funniest Sign Seen in the Past Week: A sticker on the lamppost on my corner reads: “WANTED??? FEMALE $ILVERRR! BACK GORILLAH TO LOVE AND MAYBE MARRY!!! NO PRE-NUP!!! $$$$$$”