I dragged myself way from work today to get a haircut with the stylist I have been patronizing for several months. This is the same stylist to whom I have referred Rob and jwer, and indeed, jwer was just there a day or two before me.

“So, what’s with your friend?” asked the stylist, who is, incidentally, a gay man.

“What about him?”

“I just can’t believe he’s straight. He seems so nice.”

“He has his moments,” I said.

The stylist pondered this for a moment then said, “I’ll bet you want him.”

“Falser words have never been spoken,” I said.

“He is nice, though,” he insisted.

I instantaneously referred to my data banks for all available definitions of the word nice and came up with “characterized by precision or delicacy.” I then cross-referenced that with the idea that jwer’s handwriting looks like it came out of one of the better type foundries.

“In some ways, yes,” I replied carefully.

I am nice, too.