I didn’t sit down today with an idea of what to write about, so I decided to employ the RANDOMIZER™, my patent-pending device that will scour el Interneto for an exciting random topic and automatically generate a web log entry. Those of you who claim I actually do that every day would be shot on sight, except I can’t bear to look at you. (You know who you are.)

Today’s exciting topic is: the Marijuana Vaporizer.

I encountered this by first random Googling the word “cannibal” (a word that happened to be on my mind at that moment for various reasons) and then following a link from an alternative band with the word Cannibal in its name to the web site of a radio station, which featured the Marijuana Vaporizer as an advertisement. You can’t go wrong with a Marijuana Vaporizer, I thought, which is why I instantly ordered ten of them. Then I settled down to analyze the site itself, which appears to have its wires crossed with a Celebrex commercial.

A Marijuana Vaporizer is a machine that, well, vaporizes the active ingredient in marijuana (THC) into a glass bowl, from whence the mist is inhaled. This is achieved without flames or smoke through the magic of being tapped with the wand of a pixie. The device looks like a gumball machine with a tube coming out of it and comes in two models, standard and deluxe. For seventy dollars more, the deluxe model has an extra-long tube, so the vaporizer can rest on a table while you recline on a sofa. This makes perfect sense although perhaps does not entirely comply with my idea of “deluxe.” Then again, although I have in the past both “inhaled” and imbibed THC in delicious pastry form, I may not be in the target demographic of this company.

This being the case, I reproduce here actual testimonials from people who are:

"Using the vaporizer was a unique experience that I highly recommend; first off, I didn't hack and felt no irritation whatsoever in my throat or lungs. The buzz was more like an opiate high; clean, sweet, long lasting and consistent. The taste was almost minty with no tar taste at all. It is also true that your bud lasts longer. My boyfriend and I were feeling fabulous for 4 hours on half of what we would normally have smoked in a pipe. We usually partake in very fresh bud with lots of red hairs but the first time we tried the vaporizer (we couldn't wait!) all we had was some old leftover bud and it still worked great! I will never enjoy my herb any other way!" Kylie Wallace (California, USA)

"So i finally stumbled upon the next step. saves me a lot of money on buying and growing since they are so efficient. I'm a vegetarian and a yoga student who's always looking for better and healthier ways of doing things. i wish i could give a vaporizer to all my friends, i would be so happy if i could introduce everyone to this fabulos product." peter badaj (New York, USA)

Maybe I can convince Goblin that she needs this to manage the symptoms of her cancer. She, too, is a yoga student who’s always looking for better and healthier ways of doing things.