04.20.2005
One Night of the Living Dead in Bangkok
I’m back from North Carolina, land of . . . well, furniture, god, and sweet tea, as far as I can tell. And, against all odds, some very good radio stations. Praise the lord, I didn’t encounter a single country song as I scanned the dial, although there was a good bit of raging hellfire and damnation balancing out Murray Head’s “One Night in Bangkok.”*
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble. Not much between despair and ecstasy. One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble. Can’t be too careful with your company . . . I can feel the devil walking next to me.
Bangkok has nothing on the High Point Furniture Market.
Why do people act so bizarrely at trade shows? My guess is the preponderance of commissioned salespeople, with their culture of thunderous glad-handing, compulsory positive thinking, and unnatural good cheer. More than once, I happened to glimpse the precise instant when the buyer would turn away, and a salesperson’s carefully polished veneer of high spirits would shatter to pieces, offering a momentary glimpse into a deep and personal hell. The not-so-quiet desperation increases with the uselessness of the product for sale, and it broke my heart to see so many booths full of crap manned by glassy-eyed zombies pretending it didn’t bother them that all of their careful arrangements didn’t generate the slightest amount of attention.
Then I ordered fifty thousand dollars worth of the most beautiful furniture ever wrought, from an angelic woman whose life is bursting with joy and meaning.
I can’t wait until it arrives so you can come and buy it.
* Virginia radio stations, on the other hand, except for in a small radius around Richmond, uniformly broadcast the worst music ever to be wrangled from a guitar. You have never heard such caterwauling, almost entirely on the admittedly fascinating topics of pickup trucks, cheatin’ hearts, and Jesus.
Speaking as one who has to attend only one trade fair a year, and that in the luxury watch market, I can say that you speak truly. Even at that level, by the end of the day you have something approaching a migraine from constant smiling and 10 hours and upwards of being friendly and positive has raised one's levels of misanthropy to Hannibal Lecter levels.
Luckily one lives on a civilised continent so it is possible to get a break every so often and have a proper espresso and a cigarette but even so...
How's Goblin?
posted by: campbell on 04.20.2005 at 12:15 PM
Oh, and another thing 'One Night in Bangkok' was one of my great set pieces. How awful it must be to have been too young for Glam Rock.
posted by: Campbell on 04.20.2005 at 12:23 PM
Commercial radio is a vast wasteland. My radio dial never veers from NPR. If I want music, I pop in a CD.
And I can't imagine a worse Hell, than being a salesman on commission.....
P.S. Hope that Goblin's doing well!
P.P.S. Tell Crumblord thanks for the dish on "you know who"!!!
posted by:
Hanuman on 04.20.2005 at 12:32 PM
I expect this furniture should be able to bring about world peace. Please don't let it dissapoint me.
I am looking at chocolate that should be able to cure what ails ya', or at least ensure repeat customers.
posted by: Amy on 04.20.2005 at 1:12 PM
Trivia: Murray Head is the older brother of Anthony Stewart Head - AKA Giles in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
posted by:
Linda on 04.20.2005 at 1:49 PM
I think you should call and cancel your order, just to see how quickly she turns on you.
posted by:
Brian on 04.20.2005 at 5:43 PM
Linda: now THAT is interesting!!
posted by: campbell on 04.21.2005 at 4:19 AM
Campbell: I live on an "uncivilised" continent and intensely dislike espresso and cigarettes, and thus the experience was without redemption.
Campbell again: Not, I suspect, as awful as being too old for it. :) Seriously, sunshine, I find it difficult to believe you got your kicks above the waistline. Hee hee.
Hanuman: I've been listening to NPR a lot. Perhaps everyone's favorite Upside-down Hippopotamus should underwrite something. She may be having surgery on Monday.
Amy: I don't know . . . an awful lot ails me at this point. I don't even know if the furniture can bring peace to a one block radius, but it's coming anyway.
Linda: "Head" is sort of a funny name.
Brian: I was just about to email to tell her she got one bit of it wrong, but now I'm afraid.
Campbell yet again: I don't even know who it is.
posted by:
David on 04.22.2005 at 12:28 AM
David: Honey, I got my kicks wherever I could get 'em, north AND south of my waistline!
posted by: campbell on 04.22.2005 at 5:51 AM
David: Honey, I got my kicks wherever I could get 'em, north AND south of my waistline!
posted by: campbell on 04.22.2005 at 6:02 AM
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