07.12.2005
I Know What Causes E. Coli
If you thought I was obsessive-compulsive about sanitization before, look out. Amy and I just spent two whole days in food handling class, and now I have confirmation of all the microscopic horrors I have too long only suspected. I told Rob I was going to follow him around the kitchen with a citation book from now on, a turn of events that will likely see me eating a lot more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner, but only if the peanut butter and jelly have been received at a temperature of forty-one degrees or lower, and the bread does not contain mold or rodent droppings.
So how are you, world?
I am in a good mood because on Sunday I climbed a twenty-foot wall while blindfolded. Considering that I can barely climb a twenty-foot wall while not blindfolded, this is an accomplishment worthy of greeting cards and lots of expensive gifts. Really, I’m not very good at climbing, and there’s no particular reason I should be considering I’m clumsy as hell, have no sense of balance or physical strength, and am afraid of heights. But I’m sort of proud of myself for keeping up with this, at least until my investment in those hideous climbing shoes is outweighed by the amount saved in renting hideous climbing shoes that have touched other people’s sweaty feet.
I’m also in a good mood because another Goblin song has arrived in my inbox. Goblin is floating on air, or possibly methane. This is from someone delightful named Alan:
To the tune of the Robin Hood theme:
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, running through the street
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, on her pretty pink feet
She finds a stick to chew
And slobbers on your shoe
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, loved by all the girls
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, chases all the squirrels
She’s very very bright
Like Orville (or Wilbur) Wright,
What a sight, she’s quite slight, Foo’s alright
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, gets plenty to eat
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, lean and juicy meat
She gobbles it all down
Then poops all over town
Never frown, fools around, Foo’s a clown
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, running through the street
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, on her pretty pink feet
She’s faithful and true
And she loves David too
Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo, Goblin Foo
That about says it all.
posted by
David at 8:59 PM
Congrats on climbing the 20-foot-wall!
Why are you getting your food management certification? Opening a restaraunt?
What the heck is the Robin Hood Theme?!!!
posted by:
Hanuman on 07.13.2005 at 12:13 AM
david: a turn of events that will likely see you sitting in the street surrounded by your suitcases! Leastways it would chez moi but Rob is altogether a calmer kind of chap.
hanuman: yet more proof the British Is Best. The theme tune comes from a UK children's television series from the, what?, late 50s, mid 60s, starring the somewhat pudgy Richard Greene. Either Alan is well on in years like me or he is some kind of completist type.
alan: thanks my friend for being the first lyricist so far to select a tune I actually knew!
posted by: campbell on 07.13.2005 at 4:36 AM
Either Alan is well on in years
Eeeeeeeek!!!!!!
US readers may be more familiar with the tune being used by Monty Python for the "Dennis Moore" theme song.
posted by:
Alan on 07.13.2005 at 6:30 AM
alan: sorry you are indeed a mere juvenile besides me but you have to admit that referring to the tune via Robin Hood is a bit of a giveaway.
posted by: campbell on 07.13.2005 at 6:39 AM
Um, doesn't E. Coli cause E. Coli?
posted by:
jwer on 07.13.2005 at 9:21 AM
Alan, the Monty Python reference was indeed helpful. Now I can sing the song with full confidence, no doubt to the joy of my office mates.
posted by:
David on 07.13.2005 at 10:41 AM
When I open my climbing wall business, all of my customers will receive rental Steve Madden shoes that have been stored at a temperature of forty-one degrees or lower, and do not contain mold or rodent droppings.
posted by: barb on 07.13.2005 at 11:15 AM
Huzzah! I KNOW the Dennis Moore tune! (And frankly David and Alan, at the ripe old age of 44, I think I'm older than either than you!!)
Love and Kisses,
Grandpa Hanuman
posted by:
Hanuman on 07.13.2005 at 2:24 PM
Urgh.... I meant "than either OF you"!!! ;(
posted by:
Hanuman on 07.13.2005 at 2:25 PM
You're so brave. I mean, someone with absolutely no rock-climbing skills climbing a 20-foot wall is inspirational!
If I weren't so lazy, I'd try to go do something I'm not very good at too... but nah.
posted by:
Mushlette on 07.13.2005 at 5:36 PM
Malnurtured Snay: Thank you, and no, I'm not.
Hanuman: See below.
Campbell: Good lord, try to do someone a favor that will exponentially reduce harmful bacteria in his kitchen, and this is what I get! Thank you for clearing up that Robin Hood business, however. British culture is so quaint.
Alan: It's OK if you're on in years. I still love you. But I need to see your kitchen before I move in.
Jwer: E. Coli causes vomiting.
David: We could do with an MP3.
Barb: You really get me! Why you didn't impart this sort of sensibility to your son, I can't imagine!!!!!
Hanuman again: You're twenty years older than I, if that makes a difference. Also, did you change your URL AGAIN?!?!
Mushiette: I'm thinking of starting a religion. You will be my high priestess.
posted by:
David on 07.13.2005 at 8:18 PM
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