07.13.2005
Madcap
Send me my medical degree, for I have diagnosed myself with chronic fatigue syndrome. This is a fancy-fancy way of saying that I am tired all the time. I don’t know why . . . my job is a lot of work, but it’s not as if I’m chopping down trees. Yes, that cursor isn’t going to move itself, but I might as well be doing it by telepathy. And yet, I am fatigued. Chronically so.
My therapist fired me today. He told me to call if I needed anything, but I don’t think I will. Speaking of effort, it takes a lot to sit in a room with a psychologist and pretend you’re not crazy, even a tastefully decorated room. Think of how many rock walls I can climb with the energy I’ll save.
I received yet another Goblin song today. These are going to start turning up on the Billboard charts, soon. This one is from Brian, who gets extra points for tracking me down on Friendster and sending an application to become my stalker. These usually get held up in the bureaucracy of Goblin Foo’s rubber stamp, but I am putting in a good word with her because I have already seen him naked. He’s as good as lurking in my bushes.
David’s Foo, sung to the tune of Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl”:
David is a blog- ger, I know he’s bloggin’ all the ti-ime,
But lately something’s changed he ain’t posting like before
David’s got himself a dog and I want to make her mine
And she’s chasing sneaky squirrels
And she’s dressing up in costume – Wonder Woman
Yeah ‘n’ he’s giving her new na-ames (odd, odd new names)
CHORUS:
You know, I wish that I had David’s Foo
I wish that I had David’s Foo
Where can I find a Goblin like that?
I read along with the masses, sometimes I have to make a snarky comment
You know, I feel so filthy when she eats her own poo
I wanna tell her that she’s nasty, but her wings are so damn cute
‘Cos she’s writing her advice column
And she’s acting in Thanksgiving plays (strange, strange plays)
And he’s drawing her an existential comic
CHORUS
Like David’s Foo, I wish that I had David’s Foo
Where can I find a Goblin, where can I find a Goblin like that?
And I’m writin’ Goblin Foo-ooo all the time, wondering why she don’t respond to me
I’ve been linkin’, I’ve been sendin’ tons of hits
Ain’t that the way blog crushes should be?
Tell me, where can I find a Goblin like that?
CHORUS
This is a lovely song. The lesson here is that you can’t buy friends like Brian, except you can, and thank god he accepts credit cards. The other lesson involves pigs’ blood raining down from the ceiling onto a Scrabble board, but that’s from another textbook.
posted by
David at 8:09 PM
Chronic fatigue is still better than being diagnosed with obesity! I could fly in for an emergency trepanation if you think that would help.
I hope this will uplift you, even if you have to stop looking in the mail for your doctorate, but you do not have CFS. People with CFS cannot even get out of bed most days or leave their houses most of the time. You could not work the hours you work, go to social gatherings and go rock climbing, etc. if you had CFS. Maybe you're iron-deficient; now don't go pumpin' any. I think Brian's song for Goblin is just terrific!! I also think Licketysplit's comment about better CFS than obese is a sad commentary on today's view of overweight people - just shows you'll find prejudice everywhere. And what is a trepanation (tree plantation?) anyway?
posted by: Aunt Blabby on 07.14.2005 at 4:18 AM
Licketysplit: why do you hate obese America so much?
posted by:
jwer on 07.14.2005 at 8:46 AM
Isn't there a Golden Girls episode about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? Bea Arthur had it I believe. Got all huffy at her doctor for misdiagnosing her.
posted by: James on 07.14.2005 at 9:06 AM
Sorry to hear that you're under the weather David!
Speaking of the Golden Girls, we used to be friends with someone who knew, within a show or two, which episode was on simply by whether the opening exterior scene was daytime or night! (He had lots of issues!)
posted by:
Hanuman on 07.14.2005 at 9:58 AM
I think I have Chronic Fat Guy Syndrome. I started taking Cheetos and getting lots of bed rest, but it only seems to get worse.
posted by:
Crash on 07.14.2005 at 11:24 AM
Aunt Blabby: Trepanation involves drilling a hole in the skull to allow the evil spirts to escape. Also, my remarks were a joke related to my own site (which I know David will understand), but if you like, you are free to enjoy imagining that I dislike Asians, kittens, and anti-slavery laws.
Jwer: I also hate non-obese America if that helps!
Maybe you have mono.
I thought I had mono, but my doctor took one look at me and said, "It's not mono. You're too old for mono."
TOO OLD FOR MONO?!
I think the man might have been implying that I don't get kissed enough.
In Licketysplit's defense: the nation IS fat. Fat, fat, fat. Defending unhealth because it's common and no one wants to get their feelings hurt is still defending unhealth. Now let's go drill some brain holes!
posted by:
Mush on 07.14.2005 at 5:41 PM
Thoughts for the Obesity Crowd: The initial reference here was based upon an unrelated in-joke and not, I think, obesity itself. It is understandable that people who were not privy to that the origins of that comment would have reason to be offended. Further, I don't believe that anyone was "defending unhealth," but that is a rather unfortunate choice of words. Anyone standing up for the sensibilities of a cancer patient would not be accused of "defending unhealth," when cancer is often caused by the same sort of lifestyle choices, genetics, and related circumstances that often cause obseity. Both health and "unhealth" come in many sizes and shapes.
James: I remember that particular episode of huffiness with both triumph and distinct unease.
Hanuman: I can tell which episode it is within three words of a St. Olaf story. I'm that good.
Crash: The Cheetos make you all the more desirable.
Licketysplit: I think, between the two of us, we manage to dislike just about everyone and everything.
Mush: How can I have mono when I am monogamous? Oh dear, perhaps I am being done in by prefixes!!!
posted by:
David on 07.15.2005 at 12:03 AM
OrKYgB yhyfkwedmmfr, [url=http://oiysmjtjvnjj.com/]oiysmjtjvnjj[/url], [link=http://mekycxkvkfxj.com/]mekycxkvkfxj[/link], http://admbxjnfavaj.com/
posted by:
kbidjfq on 04.25.2010 at 8:22 PM
inderal la 60 mg , blotchy red and inderal
inderal la 160 price , inderal for migraine prevention
problem using frova and inderal together , lower blood pressure inderal
posted by: cettralousest on 06.07.2010 at 8:02 PM
Your website is very interesting. I liked your website a lot. Thank you.
upsidedownhippo.com is great! Faless Payday Loans Instant Money Without Documents Faless payday loans do not require you to fa any papers to the lenders at the time of making an online application to the lender of your choice
<-- Back to Main Page
