07.21.2005
Press Release
Dear World,
Is it only Thursday? Jesus god, it feels like it’s next Wednesday or last Tuesday. I am so ready to disintegrate into a pile of goo or gulp down a glass of chardonnay.
Here is what is happening with me:
My bookkeeper vanished and turned up again days later, although not with amnesia or any other soap opera malady.
Art continues to invade my neighborhood, along with the sound of trucks backing up and the ravenous anticipation of funnel cakes.
My left foot is still stiff.
No one has yet expressed an interest in buying my car, even though it’s a really, really good car.
Crash is arriving at nine seventeen on Friday night.
I got a new pimple on my eyebrow.
I have a haircut scheduled for tomorrow, even though my hair has not grown a millimeter since the last time I got it cut.
That is all.
Love,
Me
posted by
David at 6:53 PM
David, you know I would love to buy your car. But considering my current salary is 2/3 the poverty level, I can only offer you $13 and assorted sexual favors.
posted by:
Brian on 07.22.2005 at 11:03 AM
Thank goodness I'm up to speed now. What a relief.
posted by:
David on 07.22.2005 at 11:14 AM
I will offer you $14 and a promise never to offer you any sexual favors.
posted by:
jwer on 07.22.2005 at 11:53 AM
How much is the car?
posted by:
sam on 07.22.2005 at 12:24 PM
I'll give you $200 and JWER's soul. Deal?
Enough talk about the car. The important thing is that I'm going to be in Baltimore and I will be able to eat funnel cakes.
Focus, people. Focus.
posted by:
Crash on 07.22.2005 at 2:39 PM
Brian: I thought *I* was supposed to pay YOU for the sexual favors.
David: Occasionally, even the whirlwind gets derailed by a new pimple.
Jwer: An absence of sexual favors from you is even better than the presence of sexual favors from just about anyone else.
Sam: Bluebook.
Malnurtured Snay: Good lord, why don't you just give me a unicorn. Jwer's "soul" indeed.
Crash: Although you have yet to eat a single speck of powdered sugar.
posted by:
David on 07.23.2005 at 12:01 AM
Snay: my what now?
David: Precisely. So it's a deal? I'll be over to pick up the keys later.
Crash: sorry I missed you!
posted by:
jwer on 07.25.2005 at 10:00 AM
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