I used to have this theory that for every movie, television show, and book, there was a parallel universe governed by those laws. If only there were some way of crossing dimensional barriers, we could travel to a place where “Star Trek” is real, or “Frasier,” or “The Hardy Boys.” In the “Garfield” universe, everyone would have thought balloons and bad luck on Mondays.

Naturally, at the time I was conceptualizing these various realities (with the hope of escaping into one of them), my idea was that our own universe was the “main” one, from which all others stemmed.

But now I think we are occupying a dimension governed by the laws of a particularly grim television miniseries, in which fascist monsters take over a great country, drive it into the ground, cause dozens or even hundreds of thousands of tortures and deaths around the world, and have every single one of their statements proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be bald-faced lies . . . yet are somehow allowed to remain in power and be taken seriously.

I suppose it isn’t very sensible to anticipate the appearance of a superhero or an action star who will save us all before the last commercial break, but that’s where my hopes are currently pinned. In the meantime, I would also like to request some better product placement in my house. Apple Computer is getting its money’s worth, but can something be done about those generic cans of food?