10.20.2005
Invasion
Nicole Kidman is prowling my neighborhood, hither and yon, like a wraith eluding a tall poppy. Goblin and I stumbled across her filming a scene during yesterday evening’s walk. Goblin whipped out a taser, dragged the movie star under a bush, and the next thing I knew was sporting a saucy blond wig and calling for her close-up. So now my little Boston terrier is starring in a major motion picture, and I had a pine cone for dinner because I Couldn’t Be Bothered.
Too bad Goblin and Nicole didn’t switch careers in time to avert that train wreck of a Stepford Wives remake.
There are so many things I want to tell you, but they flutter around my head like gnats, and I can’t quite isolate them. Yesterday, served a guest chilled red wine and felt like I had sunk to a new low. Today, I purchased thirteen weeks of underwriting on NPR. Two days ago, in a move shockingly irony-free move, I purchased a pumpkin, which will sit on my front stoop until Nicole Kidman gets around to smashing it on the pavement.
posted by
David at 12:50 AM
If you still have the tased Ms. Kidman, would you be so kind as to send her my way?
You are really starting to worry me. Rob needs to get home soon.
posted by:
David on 10.20.2005 at 10:57 AM
Serving chilled red wine is fine as long as you refer to it as sangria. And if your guest is ill-mannered enough to ask why there is no fruit in it, burst into tears and run from the room. I'm certain the guest won't bring it up again.
posted by:
Crash on 10.20.2005 at 11:50 AM
Wait, Nicole and Goblin have switched careers? Does this mean you're walking Nicole 'round the neighborhood ON A LEASH?
Because I'd totally want to see pictures of that.
posted by:
Mush on 10.20.2005 at 11:55 AM
How do you come up with these obscure references?
P.S. There's nothing wrong with pine cones for dinner! Euell Gibbons was mad for them!!!
posted by:
Hanuman on 10.20.2005 at 12:45 PM
Were I ever to actually see Nicole Kidman in real life, I think I'd piss a little.
posted by:
Logan on 10.21.2005 at 12:52 AM
If you get spray adhesive and some glitter, you can fag that pumpkin right up and be the envy of your neighbors.
posted by:
Brian on 10.21.2005 at 2:09 PM
I fear that even Goblin may not have been able to save the carcrash that was Stepford Wives.
Now Bewitched is a different matter altogether.
Trivia: I dated Ewell Gibbon's nephew in high school.
Now that the film crew is gone, I miss living on Wisteria Lane. Although, they did leave behind some lovely, colored fall oak leaves on the Bradford Pear tree outside my house.
Nice.
posted by:
Linda on 10.21.2005 at 10:19 PM
Jason J. Thomas: I already traded her for some magic beans.
David: I am so worrisome that I upped and flew to the Land of Carbs. Ask me what I had for dinner. Go on, ask me!
Crash: Can it still be sangria if a fruit is SERVING it?
Mush: She was strangely uncooperative.
Hanuman: And people are worried about ME?
Logan: Well there she was, plain as day. As far as I know, no urination occurred from any of those present, so you certainly would have stood out in a crowd.
Brian: I'm already the envy of my neighbors.
Christopher: Goblin is magic, like Samantha.
Linda: If they can turn a pear tree into an oak, perhaps they have the ability to turn a Nicole Kidman vehicle into something that doesn't have people scratching their heads in bemusement.
posted by:
David on 10.25.2005 at 4:08 PM
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