In the olden days, I used to sleep until noon, stay up until two a.m., and in between find time to do all of my work, go to the gym, write in this blog and elsewhere, read several books a week, attend movies and plays, have coffee and drinks with friends, keep up with current events and politics, and walk Goblin three times a day around Central Park. Now I get up at about seven, start answering work emails, work on budgets, pay bills, plan and design advertising, maybe get some small amount of exercise in, go to work for several hours, then come home and collapse on the couch, where I will watch TiVo until bedtime.

It’s clear which lifestyle is the most rewarding. The TiVo, duh. What else would I rather do than watch ten episodes of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” in a row? The olden days suck; “Star Trek: The Next Generation” is all about the future. You know it’s the future because their pillows and blankets are made from gold lamé. It’s as if the future decided to forego comfort in the name of a little razzmatazz. Counselor Troi may not get cotton bedding with a high thread count, but by god she knows she’s in the FUTURE. In your face, olden days! Yeah, you, with your books and your fun and your hipster lifestyle. You’d give up natural fibers in a heartbeat if it meant you could walk up to a hole in the wall and order tea, Earl Grey, hot.