Alo. Salut. Sunt eu un haiduc.

Or am I Picasso?

Okay, I might as well tell you what happened. My backyard caught on fire last weekend. I had lit some insect-repelling incense in the garden, a spark or something must have secretly ignited the peat moss Rob secretly spread out, and the next thing I know, it’s morning and the neighbors are banging on the back door, putting out a smoldering blaze.

I had thought my stars were realigning away from my disaster constellations, but I suppose not. So many disasters, so little time: that is apparently my chief astrological characteristic.

Anyway, on to the chupacabra! Today we have a Crash-Goblin hybrid whose name I have changed to Montezuma Sparkle, Optometrist to the Stars.