If I were a mutant, there are times when energy would blast out of my body and incinerate everything in the vicinity, but mostly you would see the great jaw-clenching effort it takes to hold this in check. A camera would zoom in to my face and reveal my irises dancing with fire, not the happy flames of aromatherapy candles but the devastating inferno of a nuclear explosion. We can look forward to the day I lose control for good and fly through the universe to a solar system where aliens who look like asparagus frolic innocently in their cities, oblivious to the fact that I have penetrated the heart of their sun and it is about to flash out of existence.

Until then, I will just twist my body into painful contortions in a misguided effort to protect you all from me and yourselves.