Rob and I went to the mall tonight. I’m still trying to remember why. There was a Christmas horror show occurring in the main rotunda area. Music blasting from speakers accompanied a full choir of about a hundred festive carolers, all clapping and swaying in unison. On some numbers, a gospel-style soloist assaulted us with death-defying yowling.

Along the perimeter of the crowd stood a group of people dressed as (I kid you not) Superman, Captain Jack Sparrow, an elf, and other festive personalities. I have no idea how they were involved with the main event, but I can’t envision any way in which it could be good news.

Walking by, I asked myself, “Self, can you think of any instance in which you have seen large groups of non-Christian religionists making a spectacle of themselves in a shopping mall?”

“No,” said myself.

Let’s choose a group a random: Jewish people. When was the last time you saw a crowd of Jews clapping and swaying by the Food Court? Almost never. And Muslims? Maybe a little prayer toward Mecca every now and again, but Superman and an elf do not feel the need to put in an appearance. Wiccans? Animists? Athiests? Unitarians? All of them seem to have more sense than this.

I mean, I guess this bunch was harmless enough, and they seemed to be having a good time, which I would never begrudge anyone. They can sing until the cows come home for all I care, about Jesus or anything else. It just doesn’t make any sense to me, personally. To my mind, it’s like walking into a mall and finding a hundred people crooning about garlic or arch supports. Even if you were a big fan of garlic or arch supports, you might be a little puzzled.