Photographs must be taken and uploaded before I can write about The Most Fabulous Birthday Present Ever®; until then, I will discuss New Year’s Eve and my energetic orientation.

In the continuum of my favorite holidays, December 31 is at the absolute bottom because I hate societally mandated frivolity and noisemakers give me the heebie-jeebies. As someone who doesn’t do well at parties in normal circumstances, the addition of the above horrors is enough to throw me for a loop. I used to think it was weird that I would rather sit at home alone than face a jangly soiree, and worse, I used to be afraid that everyone else would think I was weird, but now I don’t care, and everyone else can ring in the new year by kissing my ass.*

While Rindy was here last week, we had a conversation about introversion and extroversion and common misconceptions about these states of being. Although most people are probably a combination of both, depending upon the situation, it is without question that I am solidly an introvert, as are Rob and Rindy. Introverted people are not necessarily shy, soft spoken, or averse to standing up for themselves, just as extroverts are not necessarily the life of the party. Rindy read an article that described these attributes as energetic orientations: extroverts gain energy from being with other people, and introverts gain energy from being alone. This was demonstrated in spades during our visit. While Rob, Rindy, and I get along wonderfully and had many good times together, our default positions were to retreat to separate corners of the house and email each other interesting web links. (When Rob and I are home alone, we do the same thing pretty much every evening after dinner, while Goblin Foo, an avowed extrovert, commutes from one to the other in desperate search of attention.)

I suppose, since we live in communities of people and not as hermits on inaccessible mountaintops, Americans consider extroversion “normal,” just as they consider heterosexuality and Christianity “normal,” and society is set up around those conventions. To reveal that you are not one of these things is enough to give pause. To be none of them has them reaching for the torches and pitchforks.

So all of this is to say that, while people may find me dull and misanthropic, I intend to stay home this New Year’s Eve and eat cheese and those tiny grape tomatoes I like so much. Along with that burst of energy I get from seclusion, those finger foods will fortify me on my quest to take over the world in 2007. Once I have completed that lofty goal, I will send almost every other human to go live on a distant continent while Goblin Foo and I stay around here and catch up on our web links.

Happy New Year.

*I was invited to go to a non-New Year’s party last night that I actually would have liked to attend if circumstances had not conspired against me, a fact that probably throws off the rest of my thesis, but anyone who thinks so is also invited to pucker up. Kissing David’s Ass: It’s Not Just for New Year’s Anymore!™