Does he love me? I want to know. How can I tell if he loves me so?
Well, he might just decide to make an elaborate board game—complete with box, board, game pieces, and rules—based on my blog.
And thus we have The Most Fabulous Birthday Present Ever®.
Upside-Down Hippo: The Board Game is a fantastical journey around and around a board that teems with life. My life, to be exact. And Goblin’s. Your game piece, called a “FOG” or Friend of Goblin, will land on a Chupacabra or a Kraken and pay homage to my cryptozoological fascination; it may also land on the Prius, Vitamins, Broccoli, the Gym, Quaker Meeting, Mommie Dearest, bluehouse, one of the foreign vacations where I either got pneumonia or couldn’t find anything edible . . . and many of the other topics of this web log.
These spaces direct you to either gain or lose turns, gain or lose “kibble,” which in true Boston terrier style are the tender of the game, or pick a card that has more elaborate instructions. The last kind of normal space is the “Brainpan!”, where you pick another kind of card with a random topic on it. If the other players can guess what specifically you’re thinking of based upon that topic, you both get a “treat.” (This is based upon Rob’s and my frequent admonishment “Stay out of my brainpan!”, when we both think of the same thing at the same time.)
Things really crank into gear when you call “Upside-Down Hippo” on someone. That means you can trade places on the board with anyone else unless he or she is able to roll “Hippo Eyes.” To indicate that the game is in “Upside-Down Hippo” mode, you must turn the hippo avatar onto its head. (Hint: the best time to do this is when your opponent is about to pass the “Are You Hungry?” square and get a scoop of kibble.)
The game ends when the players don't feel like playing anymore, and the winner is he or she who had the most kibble and treats in his or her bowl (which is the collection vehicle for the kibble, played here by black beans). Here we see the hippo on the loose in a bowl of kibble, a situation that would not normally occur during game play.
Lastly, we see Goblin Foo Uvula posing with her “FOGs.” What we do not see is all of the dog toys, dirty laundry, and lint that I Photoshopped out of that picture because it’s easier than actually cleaning my house.
The game is fun and addictive (as fun and addictive as anything associated with my life can possibly be), and so visitors to our home will be forced into whirling a few times around the board as a piggy, a yellow cat, a bunny, a panda bear, a koala bear, or a polar bear. Winners do not get to keep their kibble, but they will cherish a few licks from Azalea Snufflebutt, Anesthesiologist to the Stars (former name: Goblin Foo Uvula).
As my blog comments are still not working, to reserve your space around the Upside-Down Hippo board, or to laud my husband’s brilliance, you must send me an email!
