You would be hard-pressed to determine this from his dreamy-eyed publicity photos, but after two point five years of watching Tobey Maguire mug on screen last night, it is difficult to escape the idea that he is looking more and more like a young Bob Newhart. Two point five years is a long time to look at someone’s physical and emotional tics, whether it’s Bob Newhart Jr.’s crinkly nose, Kirsten Dunst’s wounded puzzlement, or James Franco’s half-witted grin. You are wondering how I know the names of all of these people when I can’t even figure out what my nieces and nephews are called, but that is because I have IMDb on my side. If my family got a Wikipedia entry, my life would be easier, but something tells me that the universe is not so interested in sparing me anxiety. This is my new customer service attitude: “While I can’t help it if you’re stupid, I will pretend to care.” Sike, that’s not true. My caring is all too real. I am like a Care Bear, which, by the way, is the name of the villain in Spider-Man 4, a film that will be twenty-seven hours long and feature a lot of bemused stammering.
Spiderman 4: The Revenge of Care-A-Lot. Also, starring David Bowie as Peter's long lost immortal father.
Spider-Man 5: Son of Rainbow Brite.
Crap, Signalite's was better.
Also, am I the only one who thought evil Peter Parker was kind of hot?
You are almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a Care Bear.
Hi, it's Snoskred here. I'm just dropping by to let you know that I read your blog with google reader whenever you update, and that I enjoy your blog. I'm re-doing my links on my blog, and I have linked to you in the sidebar.
I have never watched any spidermans and I feel ok about it. Really, I'm fine. I don't like spiders. Or Kirsten Snaggletooth Dunst. ;)
did I type that out loud?
Signalite: It does seem as if they've been leading up to David Bowie.
Faustus: Yes, I think you were. Unless you find Bob Newhart hot.
Jwer: So much for the rainbow I had tattooed across my stomach.
Snoskred: And I have just linked to yours (as I will do for whomever tells me they have linked to me, including Satan). Regarding Snaggletooth, I would have thought you would be more bothered by her eye thing.
Sorry, Faustus isn't the only one.
David: He was wearing eyeliner and snapping, for god's sake.
