06.05.2007
5
Five years ago today, I typed the first words in this madcap chronicle. I was living in Jackson Heights, New York, and Goblin Foo Uvula was not even two years old. For her, a lifetime has gone by, and it feels like that for me, as well. No longer am I that wide-eyed youth of eighteen who changed apartments and jobs every year of his life. I am a family man now, married, a homeowner, running a business, saving up for Goblin’s college tuition. Yes, I’m on the verge of nervous collapse and I’ve barely seen any of my friends in months, if not years, but credit where it is due.
I’ve seriously entertained the idea of ending today. This could be my farewell to the blogging world. Not dramatic or pretentious, just a quiet goodbye, a gentle expression of gratitude to those who have stuck with my bemused ramblings for five years or any part thereof. Sometimes, I’m reminded that there are more of you than I ever would have thought, and it gives me a funny feeling, not in a bathing-suit place; a fluttering inside the hollow chest cavity where my heart ought to be.
I don’t know. Five years is such a nice, round number. It feels complete, an accomplishment, a cycle, a Bolshevik plan. If I stop now, I could move on to something else entirely. You wouldn’t miss me for long. No one still cares about Seinfeld or Ross and Rachel. The world moves too fast.
Or I could continue on in the same vein for all time. I could forever regale you with tales of the gym and the grocery store and the mixed bag of nuts I meet on the streets. Whenever I happen to notice it’s Friday, I could dredge up a chupacabra. I worry that if I leave, there won’t be enough chupacabras in your life.
I guess six is sort of a round number, too.
posted by
David at 9:11 AM
I would miss the chupacabras for sure!
posted by: Licketysplit on 06.05.2007 at 11:43 AM
You can't stop now, you just got yer comments working again! Although maybe that's an argument in the "pro-stopping" column...
posted by:
jwer on 06.05.2007 at 12:51 PM
No stopping! Your public needs you (and Goblin, of course)! :-)
posted by: Jess on 06.05.2007 at 1:56 PM
6 is a rounder number than 5, because the little curl on the bottom is closed.
Course, 10 is even rounder.
Not to mention 20. By which time you'll be able to download chupacabras directly from your cortex to ours. IN SENSURROUND.
posted by: Rindy on 06.05.2007 at 3:16 PM
Maybe you can feed the mixed nuts to the chupacabras. Wouldn't that be a tale.
posted by:
signalite on 06.05.2007 at 6:10 PM
Six! Six! Six! Not five!
posted by:
goblinbox on 06.05.2007 at 6:16 PM
The Internet just wouldn't be the same without you... :)
posted by:
TigerYogi on 06.05.2007 at 7:57 PM
"....as I turned and headed down the fence-row, towards London, I felt a sadness I had never known before; as if I were leaving a part of myself behind. I knew in that instant that I was doomed to live the life that ghosts are set to live...always searching...and never finding....."
Early in my journey as an artiste, I wanted to believe I was as eloquent as Evelyn Waugh. I have never lived up to my own standard. When I read the news of your possible retirement from the blogosphere, I felt an empty hollowness that deserved sharing, the excerpt above (from something I wrote long ago)attempts to describe the feeling. You deserve to know how much enjoyment I, or shall I speak for all and say we, take from your talents as a word-smith. There is no escaping that life is an all-consuming behemoth, but your take on the oft overlooked bits is so damn refreshing. So damn entertaining and educational. And I would bet a kings ransom that your heart is exactly where it should be. No empty space in your chest cavity! Just ask Goblin.
You are right to worry about the lack of chupacabras in our lives. Thank the Gods that you realize your duty in this most important matter. If you must turn a new page, can you leave us a trail of breadcrumbs?
PS: I tried those short socks you so heartly recommended. My ankles have never been so free.
posted by: jeffrey on 06.06.2007 at 1:06 AM
You can't quit, you just got the comments fixed
posted by:
Coffeedog on 06.06.2007 at 1:09 PM
Licketysplit: No, you wouldn't. You have your own knockoff chupacabra, with whom you have entrusted your ybab.
Jwer: Only when you post in them.
Jess: My PUBLIC? It's bad enough I have a private!
Rindy: Are you trying to tap into my compulsiveness to prolong my indentured servitude? WELL IT'S WORKING!!!
Signalite: Everyone knows that the chupacabra has a peanut allergy and carries around his own little hypodermic needle in case it goes into anaphylactic shock. You are noted for your cruelty to chupacabras.
Goblinbox: 666? Well, yes.
TigerYogi: But you'll always have p0rn.
Jeffrey: That's the nicest thing I ever heard. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY has ever complimented my sock recommendations before.
Coffeedog: Those blasted comments are going to be the death of me.
posted by:
David on 06.06.2007 at 2:09 PM
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