I knew I was not destined to be a rock star when I read Boy George’s autobiography Take It Like a Man and saw the price such a lifestyle would exact. Dressing up in outlandish costumes, staying out all night, and crashing in random squatters’ lairs is not exactly my cup of tea although I have always had an intense and inexplicable interest in Boy George and would arrange to meet him for a late lunch if he were so inclined. Boy George was twenty-one when “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” became a worldwide sensation so I suppose all of those squatters’ lairs paid off in the end. I am going to be twenty-one on Monday so I’d better get cracking.

Here’s what’s new with me: I grew a beard, I bought some new carpet, and I found out I’m related to Marie Antoinette. Also Goblin is going to have an operation on Thursday and will have to stay at the vet overnight. I am very worried for her because she hates the vet and will be alone and scared and she won’t be able to sleep between me and Rob like she usually does. She has a ruptured ligament on her back leg and will need a cast and one of those Elizabethan collars but perhaps this will be an outlandish enough costume to get her into the rock star clubs.

Also, I know I missed a couple of chupacabras, but it’s the holidays and ho ho ho. Instead, I will leave you tonight with images of Walrus Man. I told Jwer that an orange turtleneck was not quite the thing with those blue tights, but did he listen? Then again, perhaps he and Goblin are preparing for their new album.