While I was observing Carlotta this morning, I accidentally breathed on him and he scurried away. He has yet to reappear, igniting my fears that he will exact terrifying revenge on my respiration.

Today, also, I got a flat tire while I was driving to work. The only other time I have ever had a flat tire, I was dressed up as a ghoul and on my way to Amy’s house to go trick or treating. That was eighteen years ago on a dark country road. Today’s experience was on a freeway in downtown Baltimore with huge trucks whizzing by and a dead bird directly where a jack would need to be placed. So I called AAA and killed time until the assistance vehicle arrived by contemplating my current situation.

I have been waiting for Carlotta to start weaving messages to me in his web. “Buck up,” he might say, or “You’re looking a little chunky there, Fatty McFatfat.” But I think the one message he has been the most successful in conveying does not involve words. Carlotta teaches by example: Be Patient.

Cowering on the side of Interstate 83 with monstrous vehicles shaking me to the core as they screamed by, I was Patient. I sent a grateful pulse of energy to Carlotta, who responded that he would rather have cash.