Well well. Via Belle’s Mouthpiece, I see that loving aliens are supposed to show up in a big spaceship this Tuesday to liberate our souls. Their vehicle will show itself to everyone in the world over a three-day period. I can imagine John McCain’s campaign is seething even more than usual at this information: that’s three whole days that their message of how evil, foreign, terroristic, and antichristlike Barack Obama is will not be dominating the news cycles. Perhaps they will send Sarah Palin, her jaw locked in its folksy rictus, up in a hot air balloon to welcome our new alien overlords. That will scare them away in short order. “I said to those aliens who were offering universal peace and harmony, ‘Thanks, but no thanks!’ Ooh, I really can see Russia from up here!”

So there’s something to look forward to.

How are you? It’s Saturday, and here we are, face to face—a couple of silver spoons. Speaking of which, did you know that cute young Alfonso Ribiero who used to dress up like 1980s Michael Jackson is now chunky old Alfonso Ribiero with a sad program on the Game Show Network. I blame the Republicans for this and more.